July 13, 2021

How to Stop Being Jealous of Others Success

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Business

Mindset

@BRITTAWEICKERT

I'm Britta, an empowerment mentor for entrepreneurs that  rebel against conventional jobs & a life that bores the fuck out of them, into the life of their dreams.

For the Rebels

This episode focuses on exactly how to conquer jealousy, flip that shit to work FOR YOU not against you. How to use jealousy as a driving force, a wake-up call if you will. This is your tough-love lesson on conquering jealously in your job, workplace, entrepreneurial journey & life.

Episode Highlights:

  • Normalizing jealousy, understanding it’s a part of being human & how it can actually help us grow.
  • The VERY best way to let go of the negative feelings that jealousy gives you, and what to focus on instead.
  • Using human connection to gain back control of your brain.
  • By using jealousy as a tool rather than a flaw, we CONQUER it & become successful from it.

Find more at riserebelliously.com!

Instagram | 1:1 with Britta

Transcript
Britta:

Welcome back to episode number four. This is all about jealousy and how we're going to make jealousy work for us, right. This whole podcast and brand and lifestyle is about going against the grain and taking things that we normally think or told that we're supposed to do and changing them, right. And so a lot of people tell us that jealousy is really, really bad fucking trait and, you know, And in ways I agree. It sucks. No one wants to feel jealous. But, jealousy doesn't have to be a bad thing. Jealousy can actually be this driving force. Jealousy can be a wake-up call. Jealousy can make us successful. it's not an easy shift you have to make, but it's a shift that we can make in our brains and allow our natural thoughts to drive us to improve, right? That's the point here. Now. I'm talking about jealousy in, let's say a workplace or fellow entrepreneurs, or somebody that is more successful than you than you want to be, or you see them have a fantastic launch and make a lot of money and you wish that was you or they quit their job and they're successful, and you haven't been able to do that. These are the kind of things that I am directing this towards but jealousy obviously has many forms and there are relationship jealousies, there's retrospective jealousy, just generic jealousy, which is pretty much what I am targeting here. But the important thing to remember is that jealousy is actually normal. It's a normal occurrence in our brain, and it actually stems from prehistoric times when jealousy was a warning. It was a threat. It means that somebody is, or something may cause harm to you, and your tribe. So it's a normal thing that happens in our brains. And so, although I think it's much better to not feel jealous and I don't want anyone to feel jealous. The thing is, is that it happens, it's natural, right? So how can we take this natural occurrence that happens in our brains; and a lot of us don't want to admit that we have and admit that happens to us; but we take that something that we don't want to admit to, and we take that and we fucking switch it. We throw it on its head. We turn it around and we make it work for us. Something that we don't like. But is truly happening to us. We turn it around. So how can we do that? How do we re- focus jealousy. Jealousy is like, your tough love coach, which is what I like to call myself. It is a wake-up call. It is a reminder. It is a self-awareness kick the ass. It is your inner voice. Your soul speaking to you, actually, it's screaming at you. When you allow jealousy to consume you. And you don't look at why, but you just allow it to consume you and you allow the anger and the hatred that may stem from it to consume you. You don't do anything with it and you just allow that to become you, right. You're allowing it to consume you. But if you were to look at why you're jealous in the first place... let's use an example. As an entrepreneur, I have a lot of entrepreneurs in my world and a lot of them do much better than I do. For now. But the point being is that I see people having the ese. Six figure months. Right. And it is something that is very easy to get jealous over. I mean, who wouldn't want a six figure month? Right? But when I feel jealous, I'm not jealous of their success. I'm not mad that they're successful. I'm not jealous of their looks. I'm not jealous of their body. I'm not jealous of what they know. I'm jealous because my soul, my body, my being knows that I can do it and I'm not, right. Jealousy is literally telling me that there is a path that I should be taking. There's a change that I should be making. There are goals that I should be achieving that I'm not. And it's making me jealous to remind me. My body's screaming at me to wake the fuck up. And use that as a driving force to keep going. It's not a negative emotion that was going to bring me down. It is something that's going to keep me going. And not for competition, not to be better. And that's what you have to remember, jealousy is not about the person or the thing that you're jealous of. It's about you. It's about yourself. It's a very selfish thing. And that's why you're going to use it to improve. You're going to take that jealous feeling and you're going to be like, okay, let me sit down. Let me let me stay in my lane. Why do I feel jealous? Is it because they're doing something that I want to be doing. Is it because they're achieving something that I know I can be achieving. These are wake up calls. If you're focused on something that you can't change, like if you're jealous of the way somebody looks... then it time to start doing some mindset work and realizing that, you're being, who you are, what you stand for is a lot more than just your looks. You know, that is a whole nother story, but that is something that we have to, you have to dig deeper in on and explain to yourself why you feel this way. But if you're jealous over something, that you KNOW, you can achieve. Then that's why it's speaking. That's why jealousy is speaking up because it's like, yo. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo yo, wake the fuck up. We gotta be doing that too. Like, what are you doing with yourself? Where, where. Where are we at? Focus focus, focus, focus. What are you doing? And that's what jealousy is saying to you. It's no longer saying that this person is a threat. This is not prehistoric times. We have no reason to be threatened by another human being that is successful. Because you can be successful too. So now jealousy has been reformed and it's a. Fucking wake up, call it's screaming and you just need to listen. So one of the very best things, the very, very, very, best things you can do for yourself to combat jealousy and to take jealousy, even just grab it and just make it yours, is to just take all of that focus and all of that energy, that actual energy that you are pushing into jealousy and take that energy and push it into improving yourself. Reading. Learning. Connecting. Building, just growing as a human being, growing as a person growing as a soul. And using that to just continuously grow and become a better person, because every human being on this planet has a chance to become better. That's what we're here for every day, we are working on improving where you're working on improving our lives, our happiness, our bank accounts, our impact how we let other people feel, how we leave a room and their impression, what we're doing for other people, how we're serving, how we are connecting and creating and being, and these are just improvements. And so jealousy is just telling you that. You're not fulfilling what you need to be fulfilling. So use that. Use that voice. Use that force. And continuously improve and then you're working so hard on improving yourself. You don't have time for jealousy you're so in your own lane, you're just staying in your lane. You're working on you. You're improving yourself that you don't have time to focus on somebody else or what they're doing and you don't give a shit. Which you shouldn't. Get over it. This is about what you can do for yourself and the people you care about and the people that you want to improve their lives. That's what it's for. It's not about what this girl or this man, or this human being has that I don't have it's about how can I be better? And that's what jealousy is. It's asking you, how can I be better? What can I do to be better? As a human being. As another human being on this planet, what can I do to be better? What can I do to leave a better impact. Now another thing jealousy is. It is an open door for possibility. It is a huge, huge, huge, huge Opendoor for possibility. Let's say that you're in a mastermind, which are amazing. Amazing, amazing. Things to join. If you have it. The chance. If you have the money, if you have the opportunity to be in a mastermind, I will always recommend it. I don't even saying mine, which I will be launching, but I'm not even saying join mine. I'm just saying, join one. Because this is a place for you to connect with other human beings and another women, maybe that are in the same field and same industries, or same mindset as you. And it's a place of support and connection, but guess what it's also? It's a place where jealousy of rises and becomes aware because the people around you could be doing way better than you. And so you're sitting there like, yeah, these girls are supporting me, they got my back, I got their back. Like, we're a chill. We're happy. Like we're all growing. But like that girl just made 70 K and I made seven K. So it's almost impossible to not feel an ounce of jealousy. Like I said, this is a natural occurrence is happens in our brains. Now I'm not a neuroscientist. I can't tell you exactly what it is. I could look it up, but that's not for me to tell you. What I'm saying here is that when you're seeing your, your friends, your mastermind fellow- entrepreneurs or, you know, people in the work force getting better, raises getting more money, getting this, this, this, this, that you don't have. All of this is, is an open door to show you how much more there is for you to achieve. It's reminding you. To not shut you dreams off. That the doors aren't shut that. The world isn't over that you're still breathing, which means you can achieve more. There doesn't have to be a cap. It doesn't have to be a cap on your income. It doesn't have to be a cap on your job, a cap on your freedom, a cap on your experiences. None of these things have to stop. None of these things have to end. You can just keep going. You can keep growing. You can keep creating, you can keep connecting, you can keep making more money and making more of an impact and helping more people. And it doesn't have to stop. And jealousy is there to remind you that it doesn't have to stop that what you have today. Can change and you can have 50 times as much. This time next year. So use that jealousy, use those feelings of like, fuck this girl has what I want as wow. She could do it. So can I. This small town chick who is a college dropout Or went bankrupt or has no money or when, you know, dead broke or have the bills turned off. She now makes six figure months. If that's not even your goal, let's say you just want a six figure year so you can quit your fucking job. The point is, is that you use these emotions, these feelings, these. Why do they have what I don't have? And you use that feeling as they have it. Of course I can have it. It's an open door. It's a reminder. It's your soul speaking to you saying there's more, there's more. You just have to chase it. You just have to go after it. You just have to follow that feeling. And that's why jealousy isn't always a bad thing. Jealousy is a reminder. It's a wake up call to kick in the ass. It's a tough love coach. It is your coach. Jealousy is your coach. Telling you to wake the fuck up. Because life's not over yet. I'm still breathing. I'm still here. I can still make an impact, I can still grow. Now there is a main way that jealousy happens. And a lot of times it's from a disconnection. It's from being far away from somebody. It's that lack of connection. It's that lack of being near somebody and being in their world. That will allow more jealousy to come up. We do not have to attack each other just because somebody has more success. What we can do is compliment the bitch. Connect with them. Connect with the person that you're jealous of. I'm pretty sure that everybody has experienced something like this where you didn't like somebody when you first met them and then you got close to them and then they became like one of your closest friends. Yeah. It's the same fucking thing. And it's the same thing in these, in entrepreneur worlds, the people that you look up to, the people that you may be jealous over the people that are your goals. Connect with them. I don't mean sell something to them. Connect with them like a genuine, like, That's amazing, Give them compliments. And that also gives you more control you take back some of that control that you're just letting freefall. Because when you're jealous of the person they have all the control. Right in your brain, they will have all the control. So when you take that jealousy and you're like, well, actually that person, that human being, that girl, maybe. I was doing something fucking cool. And I just want to be doing the same thing. What would happen if I just told her she's doing something fucking cool. Well, I'll tell you what will happen. Usually. Nothing. But you will start to feel better and you will start to feel more in control and you will start to realize that the connection also starts to break the jealousy. Cause you're humanizing them instead of idealizing them. And also, by humanizing them you realize just how human they are. Making it more relatable. Making it easier to understand that it's also achievable by you. Right. So. The cool thing about this and the cool thing about the entrepreneurial world or like a workforce place. Where, you know, you are closely connected, but maybe not speaking to these people that you're jealous of, slash inspired by, is that you can connect with them. It's not like a celebrity where it's a lot harder to connect to. So you've got this going for you. So you are able to send out a quick message, or something like this. And just get in their radar and be able to talk to this person that you're extremely jealous of. This could also be your friend. So it would also make sense to connect. Because the connection, like I said, breaks the jealousy. So, by using this connection, you're allowing yourself to humanize them. You're allowing yourself to be like, wow. This connection might actually end up becoming something one day. You don't actually know. You don't know. How you may connect in the future. And somebody that once made you jealous could then turn to inspiration, could then turn to friendship and then mentorship or you know, it doesn't have to be that order, but something like this, right. Jealousy doesn't have to bring you down. Jealousy. Doesn't have to be the thing that stops you. Or prevents you from creating that day or prevent you from launching or prevents you from making more connections or prevents you from selling more or being more or making more of an impact. It doesn't have to be anything negative at all. It's just your tough love coach giving you a reminder that it's time to wake the fuck back up. And dig back into your dreams because your dreams are much bigger. And sometimes we forget how big dreams are because, you know, day by day by day goes on and you got to pay your fucking bills. And then you just focus on your day by day bills. And you focus on. Am I going to have money in the bank account tomorrow? I don't have time for these bigger goals. I don't have time to think about these goals that these other bitches are making. But you give yourself time to be jealous. And that's not actually negative. That's reminding you. Hey, Hey, wake up. We've got a bigger mission here. We've got a bigger purpose here. We are meant for more here, we're meant to help more people. And you're thinking too small. Stop thinking so small, wake up, look at this person thinking way, way, way bigger and making way, way more money. That's where we're going to be. That's where we got to keep moving towards. And we don't have to see 'em as a threat. Jealousy is not a threat. Sometimes it's a blessing. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening to another episode. If you'd like this, if you felt anything resonated. Be sure to take a screenshot, share it on Instagram, tag me and let's chat about it. And reminder don't take shit from anybody including yourself.

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